Oh 'Heat' Magazine. I always liked 'Heat ' more than the other trashy magazines. Mainly because at times it can be just so funny. The way it mocks the celebs, I don't mean in a 'Who wore it best?' malicious kind of way which I hate, I mean in a way which actually shows how clearly the tide has turned. Before it was the magazines running to them, now it's completely the other way, which means these mags can pretty much say what they like. The best thing I read was when 2 girls from 'heat' went on Michelle Heaton's hen do. They were talking about how Michelle Heaton stood up and gave a tearful speech about how much it means to her to have all her friends there and how much she loves them. The 'Heat' girls wrote 'We sat there feeling really awkward because we don't really know her.' HAHA!
Anyway, Jamie bought me a copy of 'Heat' yesterday. When I was flicking through, I stopped when I saw the large quote alongside a 'The Wanted' interview which said 'Porn? I don't need it anymore!'. I had to find the context. It got worse as I read on. Not only did the boys from 'The Wanted' come across as a bunch of pricks ('The Wanted' fans - they may not be, they just came across that way in the interview) but it was 'Heat' that had actually asked the question at the end of the interview 'Finally, do you all watch porn?'
Now. At what point did it become appropriate for an interviewer who works for a magazine that primarily targets young teenage girls to ask their teen idol 'Do you all watch porn?'
IMAGINE IT IN 'SMASH HITS!'!!!
What the fuck is going on in the world. What happened, what turn of events, what madness caused the knock-on effect for the porn industry to become so normalised that it's an okay topic to raise in a magazine for teenage girls and young women. Let's face it, the majority of these readers are going to be teenage girls who have never had sex. Lots of people will skip over that interview (as I would have done if it had not been for that quote) but 'The Wanted' audience of screaming teenage fans will read every bit of that interview. The boys all said yes they watch porn. The girls will think 'this is great, this is fine'. Then these virgins/sexually inexperienced young girls will watch porn, see how women are treated or how they act and think that is is how sex is, this is what women have to do in order to be hot and be good in bed. They will not know any different.
Now. My opinions on the porn industry. It's been a difficult relationship I have had with porn, it bothers me a great deal. Once upon a time one had to go to a great deal of effort in order to watch porn. Now, if I want to see five men gang banging a woman at the same time, all I have to do is type it into google and hey presto! AND there's a good chance I won't even get a virus (ahem, computer virus)! So basically people who should not be watching porn, are. I worry the most about the young kids. I think if grown adults are watching it, it is less harmful, as they have had sex, they know that pornos are in no way realistic and they say NOTHING about a normal/healthy sexual relationship. But a young girl or boy is not going to know that. They are going to think 'this is how I should act, these are the noises I should make, this is what I should look like, these are the things I have to do in order to be a good fuck'. To me it feels like a total restriction on sexuality to have this idea of what sex should be...it feels like you don't have the choice to say you're not into this or that. And what's sexy about that? Also, if children/young people have been watching mega hardcore porn before the age of 16, isn't actual sex going to be a real let down when they actually get it? When they realise it's nothing like the porn material they're used to? What happens to their sex lives? To their relationships? How they see women?
I met Cindy Gallop last year after I discovered her website 'Make Love Not Porn'. Her argument is that the porn industry is never going to go away so why don't we make good porn that shows good sex, between people that have chemistry and doesn't degrade anyone. I am inclined to agree. So much porn shows so much violence and misogyny and this is why I worry about it being so normalised with young people.
I was talking to a friend the other day. I don't want to offend her because I know she will probably read this, but she told me about how her boyfriend and his friends had all had sex or done something with a prostitute. She said really casually 'you know so they were all out and thought why not pay £15 for a blowy?'. Now, I don't know how she really felt about it, like she was making light of it so that it wouldn't bother her, but I had to reign it back in. I was like 'Woah there! This is not okay! This is not normal!'. If my boyfriend told me he had had sex with a prostitute I just don't think I could be cool with that. And I don't think I should have to be cool with that if I don't want to be.
Because the porn industry has become so normalised, I feel like I even have to apologise for having this opinion, like I must never question it or I'll be seen like some sort of stuffy prick. If anyone thinks that then don't worry, my opinion will not matter, the porn industry is not going anywhere fast. And if anyone wants to say 'Oh it's the women's choice blah blah and it's fine and it's great' then ask yourself this 'Would you be happy if it was your Mum, daughter or sister having a close up filmed of their gaping fucked arse jizzed on by 5 men?'.
Something has to change. Something with the porn industry...I don't know how when it's all over the internet but it just should not be allowed to be seen by people under 16 or even 18. I'm not being a prude, I just don't think this bodes well for normal sexual relationships and for the safety of women.
Found this fantastic article in 'the Guardian' about men who have started a site against pornogrphy. Amazing to see men at least questioning porn use, which people seem so afraid to do these days. Really, really interesting. Have a look http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/oct/25/men-believe-porn-is-wrong Extract - "Kimmel remains open-minded about pornography – what's needed is a much broader conversation about it, he says – but the picture he paints in Guyland is nonetheless troubling. "Pornotopia is the place where [young men] can get even," he writes, "where women get what they 'deserve' and the guys never have to be tested, or face rejection. And so the pornographic universe becomes a place of homosocial solace, a refuge from the harsh reality of a more gender equitable world than has ever existed. It's about anger at the loss of privilege – and an effort to restore men's unchallenged authority. And, it turns out, that anger is worse among younger men."
Anyway, what I'm trying to say here is 'Heat' magazine, what the hell. Please don't contribute further to this normalised porn culture, we just don't need it. And I fear for the knock-on effects for the throwaway casual nature in which you bring it up in your magazine. Come on, have SOME responsibility.
4 comments:
Hi Sarah,
I totally agree.
I used to have this very difficult relationship with this topic due to some experiences that somehow happened.
This difficulty was based on the struggle I have had with how to react/think about it all and what’s my point of view on the topic that became basically glamorized.
Yes, like you're saying, it feels awkward to have an opinion like we have, I could almost feel like an old uneducated, church-obsessed 1930 woman.
I just finished great book that relates to this. Have you read "Female Chauvinist Pings" by Ariel Levy? She calls it a raunch culture, but I won't spoil it for you. She goes through the topic of Girls Gone Wild, today porn industry etc.
She says how weird it is that working in the porn industry today is something that can get you far, set a nice platform for a success, and in the old days it was embarrassing to even mention that you had some maybe-naked-pics done in the past.
I live in US now and I think it's much worse than in UK. You can't watch a TV, because every show is about scoring a guy by wearing a little slutty dress and the there is no room for a healthy relationship between girls, just because they compete. Btw, they seem like kids to me anyways, 16, 17..years old..
Scary.
Levy un-confused the topic for me a lot. She kind of allowed me to think that I am normal by not approving the shitty objectification in porn etc.
All the best to you, girl! You rock;)
Thank you love :)
I totally agree, I stayed in NY for three months last year and realised how bad it is in the US. No wonder there are so many fantastic feminist groups!
Yes I have read that book, fantastic. I could not believe girls gone wild, I'd heard about it from Curb you enthusiasm but had no idea what it was til I read that book. Absolutely shocking. And the girls do it!!
I also read this book 'the porning of america' really interesting, check it out!
Thanks so much for reading and comment, stay in touch x x x
Great article, great website.
You are not alone. Although my view is that when it comes to prostitution / lap dancing regulation and de-criminalisation may work better.
Illegal prostitution just leads to dangerous work for the women that do choose it, and sex trafficking.
The currently unregulated nature of lap-dancing clubs needs a lot of tightening up. You could ban them, but I'm not convinced that is going to turn back the clock.
Still with 'Girls Gone Wild' about to hit the shores, the terrifying truth is that many women don't in any case want paying for baring themselves.
The idea of porn being harmful to womens rights is a grey area. In my second year dissertation i chose former pornographic actress and now artist Annie Sprinkle. I asked her how she thought about the violence in porn and she said porn just reflects the society in which operates.It is impossible to ban pornography now, it has always existed, it is not a modern digital phenomenon.And even banning violent porn infringes on peoples right to make it. What of people who like violent porn, men and women?.Just because it looks horrible, does not mean the actors are victims, or abused. When we try to ban porn, or say that the people who work in porn are victims or less than us we commit predjeduice and slut shaming. I made art on Max Hardcore, who is now in jail for asking his actresses to dress and say on camera they were ten years old. He was prosecuted and jailed for suggesting, for pandering to a fantasy. A lot of people say Hardcore was the real force behind porn becoming more violent over the years because his violent, mysogninistic films were so successful. I think the real stance to adopt in terms of violent porn and the way womens bodies are shown by the media is through education and debate. Not banning or censoring things, which merely sweeps the matter under the carpet in to illegality and solves nothing.
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