Sarah Maple

'It's a Girl!' - a new solo exhibition by me, Sarah Maple!

2012-01-16T14:20:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone!

Firstly happy new year!

Secondly thank you all so much for your patience, I have been going on about this new work for some time without giving away any information.

Now I am very happy to announce my brand new solo exhibition of work!

'It's a Girl!' will be at Aubin Gallery from 9th February - 9th March 2012.

I'm very excited indeed as I haven't worked on anything like this before or shown a brand new body of work in 4 years.

I hope you enjoy the teaser piece below 'Lollypop, Lollpop'.

Thank you for all your support and I hope to see you there! xxxxxx

Young feminist! Adorable.

2012-01-03T08:48:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to share this video with you, so excellent. Most adults don't even question these things.

'I fell in love with a conceptual artist....'short video by Tom O'Dwyer.

2011-12-19T14:58:00.000-08:00

'I fell in love with a conceptual artist and it was totally meaningless' by Miriam Elia

2011-12-13T10:30:00.000-08:00

Miriam and I started working on this project together from practically the day we met 18 months ago. When I first read it I couldn't stop laughing. I absolutely loved it and the more I talked about it with Miriam, the more I wanted to help her to exhibit it in the best possible way.

The piece is all about Miriam's relationship with Martin Creed and how he broke her heart. In the work she tells her story in the style of confessional 'Take a Break' magazine.

It took a long time for us to get to this point, we visited galleries, empty shops, even had a meeting with the head honchos at Trafalgar Square. But when we visited 'The Nave' in Islington we realised we'd found the PERFECT space. And it was OUR space. We didn't have to change the work, we didn't have to apologise for anything, we could show it in it's full glory and sing 'All Rise' by Blue with a choir.

I have absolutely LOVED working on this. Thank you Miriam for getting me involved and thank you everyone who helped make it happen.

Here's some pictures and there will be a video to follow.

To find out a bit more about the piece, here is an interview with Miriam for Spoonfed http://www.spoonfed.co.uk/spooners/tom-699/i-fell-in-love-with-a-conceptual-artist-and-it-was-totally-meaningless-interview-with-miriam-elia-6234/

Portrait by Bharat Choudhary for The Alexia Foundation

2011-10-22T17:15:00.001-07:00

WOW. Photo taken in my parents house by Bharat Choudhary for his latest project. Even my Mum was impressed.
© Bharat Choudhary/The Alexia Foundation

Musee de Beaux Arts.

2011-10-17T17:01:00.000-07:00

Musee de Beaux Arts by W.H Auden. I'm not much of a poem person but it has always fascinated me. It feels very applicable to events in my life in 2011. I think about it most days. So here it is.

Accompanied by a photo I took a few weeks back.

About suffering they were never wrong,
The Old Masters; how well, they understood
Its human position; how it takes place
While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along;
How, when the aged are reverently, passionately waiting
For the miraculous birth, there always must be
Children who did not specially want it to happen, skating
On a pond at the edge of the wood:
They never forgot
That even the dreadful martyrdom must run its course
Anyhow in a corner, some untidy spot
Where the dogs go on with their doggy life and the torturer's horse
Scratches its innocent behind on a tree.
In Breughel's Icarus, for instance: how everything turns away
Quite leisurely from the disaster; the ploughman may
Have heard the splash, the forsaken cry,
But for him it was not an important failure; the sun shone
As it had to on the white legs disappearing into the green
Water; and the expensive delicate ship that must have seen
Something amazing, a boy falling out of the sky,
had somewhere to get to and sailed calmly on.

New piece for Frieze....

2011-10-12T03:11:00.001-07:00

I actually had this idea whilst going around Frieze in 2010. Showing this in a group show in London this month.

Hooray for the dutch! Here's the documentary in full!

2011-09-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

Bekijk de video in andere formaten.

Me on Sarah's Barbaren, VPRO dutch tv 14th September!

2011-09-13T16:42:00.000-07:00

There is a half hour documentary on me and my work in a wonderful new series called 'Sarah's Barbaren' on VPRO, dutch tv. It's on at 10.55pm on wednesday 14th September. You can also watch it online from thursday. The show was filmed back in April and they followed me for a week. Absolutely lovely crew and Sarah was amazing. Excited to see it but know I will spend the whole time cringing at myself. Gah!

If you're in Amsterdam there will be some work at KochxBos gallery from 17th September-18th October.

Hooray!

'Sarah Maple est Croque Madame' tomorrow!!

2011-09-09T14:07:00.001-07:00

'What are Sarah Maple's future plans?'

2011-09-05T16:37:00.000-07:00

The other day when I looked on my website stats, someone had typed in the question 'What are Sarah Maple's future plans?'

Well! I shall tell you.

Uncharacteristically for me I have been quite quiet the past two years and have only put out 5 new pieces of work. This is because I have been planning for the next big solo show of completely new work, which is exhibiting in 2012. I'm so used to making stuff and just putting it online straight away, but this time I wanted to do it differently. I have been preparing for this show for nearly 2 years, but I cannot reveal when/where just yet! But all will be revealed within the next couple of months. So much time and effort has gone into this and it's being really carefully put together, cherry picking the best stuff so we can have a really great show. It's been a long process but I wanted to find the right gallery and have the right team behind me. Now it's all in place the show will be soon!

For now I have a solo show opening in Paris which opens this Saturday 10th September. I'm so excited, I absolutely love Paris and the gallery is fantastic. I will post up details. I hope you can make it!

So I hope that answers the question 'What are Sarah Maple's future plans?'. For the person who typed in 'Sarah Maple's tits' or 'Sarah Maple naked', I will not rush to be answering that enquiry any time soon. ha!

Colonel Gaddafi. Prick!

2011-09-02T13:14:00.001-07:00

'Sarah Maple est Croque Madame'

2011-08-28T12:49:00.000-07:00

Hellooooo

I have an exhibition opening in wonderful Paris next month. The opening is on 10th September. So if you're in Paris (or if you're not in Paris and want to come) then please do. I will post up more details soon. So excited!

Sarahhh

Ben Uri Gallery - Summer Show!

2011-07-22T11:35:00.000-07:00

I will be showing the following piece at Ben Uri Gallery's summer show. The opening is 2nd August. Come!!

NEW PRINT! 'The Opposite to a Feminist is an Arsehole' - £10 ONLY! - First 40 available for pre-order!

2011-07-19T15:07:00.001-07:00

'Alternative Family Portraits'

2011-07-02T15:24:00.000-07:00

Today I did a really fun workshop at Crawley Festival called 'Alternative Family Portraits'. The idea was that you had to dress up silly or not at all. I had such a great day! Thank you everyone for taking part! Here's a couple of images!

Pic in new studio.

2011-06-22T10:40:00.000-07:00

As usual I look knackered!!

Miriam smashes Gavin Turk art work.

2011-06-20T02:59:00.000-07:00

ARTE!

2011-06-08T04:20:00.000-07:00

Hurrah! ARTE featured me in one of their excellent shows. They came to my studio, interviewed and filmed me on a shoot. It's on tv on thursday.
Here's a link to a short clip....

Here's the whole thing in french!

Protest at Playboy club opening in London.

2011-06-05T04:13:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful time last night at the Playboy protest, I'm so glad I went. Very proud of our crowd of men and women.

I went wearing a Hugh Hefner mask and bunny ears, inspired by the wonderful feminist artist Margaret Harrison. Check me out and Francine from 'Turn your back on page three' HERE on BBC News.

Congratulations Kate and Wills

2011-04-29T04:01:00.000-07:00

Be in my next piece!

2011-04-22T14:52:00.001-07:00

Would anyone like to be in my next photo shoot which will take place on 4th May 12pm at Broadfield stadium! Your role is a football fan! The shoot is being filmed by Dutch TV channel who are making a documentary about my work. So you would also be on dutch TV! You will get a copy of the pic also. It's always good fun - let me know if you would like to be involved! Contact me at info@sarahmaple.com

Pakistani actress Veena Malik wipes the floor with a ranting mullah.

2011-04-17T06:57:00.000-07:00

Wow.

Moving into new studio....

2011-04-16T16:25:00.001-07:00

It finally happened!!! AFter 2 months of waiting I finally got the new studio, so happy, absolutely lovely and perfect location. I can't wait to start painting.
p.s please excuse the high waisted jeans and short t-shirt combo. Not the most flattering of looks.

'The only way is Essex' and contempt for tits

2011-04-12T07:22:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone

I could have cried with happiness yesterday when I got the email saying I could pick up the keys to my new studio today.
I then wanted to cry again when they told me I could not because they had lost them. Then I was happy again because after I moaned they said they had another I could use! I pick them up on thursday. Praise be. I'm not getting too excited though. Anything could happen! I just can't wait to get in there. Haven't painted in months and starting to get antsy.

So, I've been gripped to 'the only way is Essex' for a couple of weeks now. It's just so addictive. Not many people would agree with me, but I'm absolutely in love with Amy Childs and I don't care how many cheek, lip and breast implants she's had. I can't stand Mark though and every time he speaks he comes out with something so offensive and misogynist I want to punch the TV. Very inspiring though - when discussing a boob job with his sister Jessica, he really did prove a point I have felt for some time. He says

'I don't want MY sister walking out with a big pair of fake boobs, with builders with their papers going 'phwoar'. I'd rather you be a sophisticated girl walking along the street how you are...'

See the contempt there for women who do have big breasts and attract male attention. I really believe that if people were perfectly happy to see their own wives/sisters/daughters with their kit off in men's magazines or starring in pornography, only then can they claim that there is no sexism or misogyny. Because to me it seems like it's not good enough for THEIR family, the people THEY love, but perfect okay for other girls. If this is the case, how can they claim that there is no contempt for these women?

I first felt this when reading an interview with a man who was the head of some lads mag, I think it was 'Loaded'. When asked if he would be happy for his daughter to be in the magazine he said 'I wouldn't want that for MY daughter, I'd expect her to have better choices'.

'Better' choices. Interesting.

Here's the clip with Mark and Jessica at 2min 37secs

Here's my wonderful Amy

'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' by John Gray.

2011-04-03T09:59:00.003-07:00

Just contemplating what a pile of shit this is at the book fair at Crawley Word Festival this weekend.

For some reason it doesn't really seem to make much sense to me that ALL men are the same and ALL women are the same. Oh well, what does my common sense know??

'Do you watch Porn?' The Wanted Heat magazine fail.

2011-03-19T09:21:00.000-07:00

Oh 'Heat' Magazine. I always liked 'Heat ' more than the other trashy magazines. Mainly because at times it can be just so funny. The way it mocks the celebs, I don't mean in a 'Who wore it best?' malicious kind of way which I hate, I mean in a way which actually shows how clearly the tide has turned. Before it was the magazines running to them, now it's completely the other way, which means these mags can pretty much say what they like. The best thing I read was when 2 girls from 'heat' went on Michelle Heaton's hen do. They were talking about how Michelle Heaton stood up and gave a tearful speech about how much it means to her to have all her friends there and how much she loves them. The 'Heat' girls wrote 'We sat there feeling really awkward because we don't really know her.' HAHA!

Anyway, Jamie bought me a copy of 'Heat' yesterday. When I was flicking through, I stopped when I saw the large quote alongside a 'The Wanted' interview which said 'Porn? I don't need it anymore!'. I had to find the context. It got worse as I read on. Not only did the boys from 'The Wanted' come across as a bunch of pricks ('The Wanted' fans - they may not be, they just came across that way in the interview) but it was 'Heat' that had actually asked the question at the end of the interview 'Finally, do you all watch porn?'

Now. At what point did it become appropriate for an interviewer who works for a magazine that primarily targets young teenage girls to ask their teen idol 'Do you all watch porn?'

IMAGINE IT IN 'SMASH HITS!'!!!

What the fuck is going on in the world. What happened, what turn of events, what madness caused the knock-on effect for the porn industry to become so normalised that it's an okay topic to raise in a magazine for teenage girls and young women. Let's face it, the majority of these readers are going to be teenage girls who have never had sex. Lots of people will skip over that interview (as I would have done if it had not been for that quote) but 'The Wanted' audience of screaming teenage fans will read every bit of that interview. The boys all said yes they watch porn. The girls will think 'this is great, this is fine'. Then these virgins/sexually inexperienced young girls will watch porn, see how women are treated or how they act and think that is is how sex is, this is what women have to do in order to be hot and be good in bed. They will not know any different.

Now. My opinions on the porn industry. It's been a difficult relationship I have had with porn, it bothers me a great deal. Once upon a time one had to go to a great deal of effort in order to watch porn. Now, if I want to see five men gang banging a woman at the same time, all I have to do is type it into google and hey presto! AND there's a good chance I won't even get a virus (ahem, computer virus)! So basically people who should not be watching porn, are. I worry the most about the young kids. I think if grown adults are watching it, it is less harmful, as they have had sex, they know that pornos are in no way realistic and they say NOTHING about a normal/healthy sexual relationship. But a young girl or boy is not going to know that. They are going to think 'this is how I should act, these are the noises I should make, this is what I should look like, these are the things I have to do in order to be a good fuck'. To me it feels like a total restriction on sexuality to have this idea of what sex should be...it feels like you don't have the choice to say you're not into this or that. And what's sexy about that? Also, if children/young people have been watching mega hardcore porn before the age of 16, isn't actual sex going to be a real let down when they actually get it? When they realise it's nothing like the porn material they're used to? What happens to their sex lives? To their relationships? How they see women?

I met Cindy Gallop last year after I discovered her website 'Make Love Not Porn'. Her argument is that the porn industry is never going to go away so why don't we make good porn that shows good sex, between people that have chemistry and doesn't degrade anyone. I am inclined to agree. So much porn shows so much violence and misogyny and this is why I worry about it being so normalised with young people.

I was talking to a friend the other day. I don't want to offend her because I know she will probably read this, but she told me about how her boyfriend and his friends had all had sex or done something with a prostitute. She said really casually 'you know so they were all out and thought why not pay £15 for a blowy?'. Now, I don't know how she really felt about it, like she was making light of it so that it wouldn't bother her, but I had to reign it back in. I was like 'Woah there! This is not okay! This is not normal!'. If my boyfriend told me he had had sex with a prostitute I just don't think I could be cool with that. And I don't think I should have to be cool with that if I don't want to be.

Because the porn industry has become so normalised, I feel like I even have to apologise for having this opinion, like I must never question it or I'll be seen like some sort of stuffy prick. If anyone thinks that then don't worry, my opinion will not matter, the porn industry is not going anywhere fast. And if anyone wants to say 'Oh it's the women's choice blah blah and it's fine and it's great' then ask yourself this 'Would you be happy if it was your Mum, daughter or sister having a close up filmed of their gaping fucked arse jizzed on by 5 men?'.

Something has to change. Something with the porn industry...I don't know how when it's all over the internet but it just should not be allowed to be seen by people under 16 or even 18. I'm not being a prude, I just don't think this bodes well for normal sexual relationships and for the safety of women.

Found this fantastic article in 'the Guardian' about men who have started a site against pornogrphy. Amazing to see men at least questioning porn use, which people seem so afraid to do these days. Really, really interesting. Have a look http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/oct/25/men-believe-porn-is-wrong Extract - "Kimmel remains open-minded about pornography – what's needed is a much broader conversation about it, he says – but the picture he paints in Guyland is nonetheless troubling. "Pornotopia is the place where [young men] can get even," he writes, "where women get what they 'deserve' and the guys never have to be tested, or face rejection. And so the pornographic universe becomes a place of homosocial solace, a refuge from the harsh reality of a more gender equitable world than has ever existed. It's about anger at the loss of privilege – and an effort to restore men's unchallenged authority. And, it turns out, that anger is worse among younger men."

Anyway, what I'm trying to say here is 'Heat' magazine, what the hell. Please don't contribute further to this normalised porn culture, we just don't need it. And I fear for the knock-on effects for the throwaway casual nature in which you bring it up in your magazine. Come on, have SOME responsibility.

Opening night at KochxBos gallery, Amsterdam

2011-03-13T07:31:00.000-07:00

I had the most wonderful weekend in Amsterdam at the opening of my solo show at KochxBos gallery. Thank you to everyone who came, I had the best night and I hope you all did too!! Thank you Hans and Esther at KochxBos for all your hard work and support.

Daniel Craig and Dame Judi Dench team up for film highlighting the need for gender equality

2011-03-08T04:25:00.000-08:00

I almost forgive Dench for saying that she was not a feminist. Quote 2 years ago "No, I wouldn't call myself a feminist at all, really. I don't know what a feminist is. I believe in women having a say."

Women Inc, Amsterdam

2011-03-07T08:56:00.000-08:00

Wow, I had the most amazing and wonderful time in Amsterdam at the Women Inc conference. I spoke on two occasions and had my cock series in one of the meeting rooms. Everyone was so lovely and welcoming. Thank you everyone :)

If anyone is in Amsterdam, I have an exhibition opening at KochxBos gallery on March 12th at 4pm. Please come for a party and I will hopefully be there too. Can't wait.

Sexual Objectivication of Women - 'That's life!'

2011-03-01T15:01:00.000-08:00

'Cocks' poster edition and 15% off posters to celebrate Women's History Month.

2011-02-28T12:46:00.000-08:00

Basically what it said in the title!

There's new 'Cocks' poster edition as part of my show in Amsterdam. Edition of 100, signed and numbered. 95 Euro! Only available at KochxBos Gallery Amsterdam! Email them if you would like one at GALLERY@KOCHXBOS.NL

Also to celebrate Women's History Month, there is 15% off all posters! Just go to the shop on http://sarahmaple.bigcartel.com/ enter the code WHMIWD! Hurrah!

lad's mags.

2011-02-24T05:07:00.000-08:00

This guy Piers is absolutely misguided.

My brother Alex Maple on BBC News - Can academics be funny?

2011-02-23T08:53:00.000-08:00

My brother Alex Maple has been has stand up comedian for some time. He's well lol!

Here's a link to him on BBC News site on a piece called 'Can academics be funny?

Aschaffenburg baby

2011-02-21T07:30:00.000-08:00

I once went here on a school trip and now my work is in the window. I will definitely get a penis drawn on my face sooner or later and quite frankly I will deserve it.

Other artists...
Hayden Kays
Nathan James
Dorothy Yoon

Curated by Friedrich Grafling. Danke schon!

You can buy a limited edition of the new poster if you should like one. Get in touch if you do info@sarahmaple.com

Stewart Lee, my hero

2011-02-20T03:24:00.000-08:00

Comedy is still not credited with being a form of art which is madness. Especially when watching Stewart Lee. I've only got into him recently when Jamie sent me a link to a film he made about the controversy around Jerry Springer the Opera (which he wrote). I really related to him in this film as I've obviously had a very similar experience with my work. Anyway, below I have attached a film for your pleasure which I can't stop watching - may appeal to majority of British watchers as it's about Clarkson but have a go.

When people ask me which artists I'm influenced by, I always go totally blank. There are artists I like and appreciate visually and technically but conceptually it is always comedians. Comedians are what make me really happy and excited, I can relate to them so much more. Obviously they're not all great like in any art form, but I'm so inspired by those amazing gems. What I like about art and what I think is the purpose of art, is to reflect or say something about the world. I think this is the role of artists. I suppose this is why so much art bores, frustrates and incenses me because I don't see any real depth, just a waffling supporting essay.

On another note here is a link to an interesting blog about sexism, racism and ageism in the art world HERE.

New Lynx advert

2011-02-17T17:00:00.001-08:00

Even though I hate sexist adverts (I don't think I've mentioned this before- ahem!) the Lynx ads I did find a bit amusing, just because they did appear a bit British and Benny Hill and silly.

However the new ad campaign lacks all of these things. It's just idiotic. And a big fat lie. Lynx makes any man smell like a man-child.

Here's one.

Come on Nissan you bunch of sexist twats.

2011-02-15T15:24:00.001-08:00

Can't anyone think of anything more intelligent to come up with these days? Clearly not. Hilarious comments below, someone describes the adverts as great 'irony'. There is no irony in these ads! Someone else calls the girl an 'old tart'. And they say feminists have nothing left to fight for.
http://uk.autoblog.com/2011/02/15/nissan-juke-swimsuit-model

Photoshoot with My Tiger My Timing

2011-02-13T07:17:00.000-08:00

New piece Cheryl Cole 'Fucking Black Bitch' and 'Fuck You'. Sorry for the swears.

2011-02-11T02:57:00.000-08:00

Hello there,

I am in a much brighter mood today as I went to see a new studio yesterday. Inches away from confirming but I'll have to wait and see. Getting the right space to work in is integral. Fingers crossed!

I am working on a new photographic series which I'm so excited about but I won't post yet because I'm saving the juice for my next show.

Here's a new piece, available from MementoMori Corps along with a few others.

On another note, I am pleased to announce I got my 'Fuck You' back (by the way, I am aware that swearing is in no way clever or that it should be used as an adjective). I think since my show 'This Artist Blows' in October 2008, I was so worried about everything because of the 'criticism' I received (if death threats can be described as 'criticism!'). In 2009 I made practically nothing. 2010 was better and now I'm on a roll.

What's changed? I stopped caring. It was the same thing when I was at art school, I made work for two years that I thought I SHOULD make, that I thought everyone else would like. Then something happened in the last year. I thought 'sod it, I can't be an artist if THIS is what I have to make, so I'm just going to do what I like'. And then all was great.

I suppose after 'This Artist Blows' whenever I tried to start a new piece of work I would think about all the possible things people could read into it, I got scared about what people would say or think. And so I talked myself out of doing it.

When before, in the run up to the show, the beauty of it was that I had no idea what people would think, I made stuff I liked and didn't think about the reaction...I suppose because I didn't expect there to be one.

Now, realising that I no longer should worry about how people will perceive my work and to trust my own instinct with stuff really is the most freeing experience in the world. I feel like the floodgates have opened and so creative. I felt this in 2007 and 2008 but had not realised until recently how after 'This Artist Blows', I had slowly regressed back into that first year art student. I don't think I will always be free from that person. A couple of months ago it literally dawned on me in a matter of seconds. One minute I was worrying about something, the next minute I thought 'Oh yeah I don't actually care!!! And I should not care!!'.

The only way I can describe this feeling is a wonderful feeling of going FUCK YOUUUU. It's always a two fingered feeling. It's the best. And the most creative.

Anyway, the reason I am writing this blog is because I am embracing the 'Fuck You' and I think you should all come with me. I know so many people who are amazing but won't put themselves out there because they're worried for this or that reason - or even people who I know could be so much better if they stopped giving a shit - if they stopped thinking 'I should be like this, or 'I should be like that'. Jump on the 'Fuck You' train!!!!

My brother said to me as a child 'Sarah, you've just got to give less of a shit.' I've never forgotten it, how right he was!!

Let's make a list of all the great people who are/were on the "Fuck You' train. I'll start, the Sex Pistols. More suggestions/recommendations please!! xxxxx

What a beautiful painting

2011-02-06T11:00:00.000-08:00

'Lara' by Stella Vine

Art Studio

2011-02-06T05:56:00.000-08:00

I haven't got one. Well I do but will have to leave it very soon. This is very depressing as it's absolutely huge and so cheap that I hardly notice paying for it. Luckily I have been working on location based photography work but I will need somewhere to paint soon.

I've been looking but everywhere is just so expensive I would bankrupt myself! It's really hard to track these places down too. I'm looking mainly Gatwick area.

Does anyone know anywhere? And for cheap would be superb. Comment or email me info@sarahmaple.com xxxxx

My Advice

2011-01-20T03:52:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone.

Sorry for the lack of interesting blogs of late. Things have been rather hectic.

Today I am in a rather sombre mood. I can see artists being fooled and ripped off and I just can't do anything about it. Makes me so angry. Some people just do not have any morals at all.

I emphasise my advice I wrote before more than ever.

http://sarahmapleart.blogspot.com/2010/11/my-advice-for-youngnewgraduate-artists.html

Ich Liebe Dick - limited edition print

2010-12-22T16:31:00.000-08:00

Christmas Greetings!

Just a quickie to say that you can now get a limited edition of my 'Ich Liebe Dick' series via my website, just click here.

They are hand signed and edition of 250.

Merry Christmas one and all and I wish you a very happy new year!

The objectification of Take That.

2010-12-06T15:27:00.001-08:00

I was minding my own business the other day when I thought 'you know what, I'm gonna watch a Take That' youtube. I typed them in, clicked on 'Relight my Fire' and away I was.

I am currently experiencing my 'third wave Take Thatism.' I loved them the first time round when I was about eight or nine (I even wrote a letter to Fast Forward about them and it got printed!!) then I loved them a second time a few years later. I was about 14 and there was a Take That weekend on VH1 which I happened to catch and I got hooked again.

Now I am experiencing a third wave. And I have to say, it's not just about the music. It's about the 'Relight my Fire' video. I hadn't seen it for sometime but when I saw it again, I was just transfixed. I had this sudden rush in my stomach which I hadn't felt since I was a teenager. It's amazing really. Something about them has just not been replicated by any other boy band since. I tried to put my finger on it. After watching several more times and going 'phwoarrrrr' in my head like a twat looking at page three, I realised what it was.

Meat.

In that video and in pretty much all the videos they are meat. And I find this totally fascinating. You just don't get this now. I don't even know if it really happened much in the nineties either. But it's usually women that dance about sexually for us in music videos and passively drape their half naked bodies over things. If men do get their body out it's usually a rippling six pack and it's done in a very macho way - you just don't get men objectified in this way. And they really, really were objectified.

Check out the Pray video. They are all meat for us to consume. Robbie is giving us the innocent doe-eye (oh please fuck me sir) look, Gary is touching up his open shirted bod, Howard is draped over a fountain and Jason and Mark passively lie in the sand, arching their backs with their bods out. Men are never, everrrr portrayed in this way. I don't just mean them being half naked - it's HOW they are half naked. The eroticism, passivity, the sexuality.

Now I know they had a huge gay following which they were probably appealing to in these videos also. But I wonder if this says anything about men and women today. Have we slipped even further into 'men must act this way and women must act this way' territory? Because I can't imagine any boy band or male artist making a video like this today.

My Clash moments

2010-12-05T15:31:00.000-08:00

People may listen to whale music or Fleet Foxes to relax them at night. Not me. I like to have my Clash moments. Just taking a moment at the end of the day to sit in bed with the door closed and have a jolly good listen to the Clash. I get lots of ideas for work too when I listen to the Clash. I think it's because it seems like art at its rawest, doing what it should do, saying something without the supporting essay and sticking a good ol' two fingers up at everything.

Is it just me but does having the door closed in your room really make a difference? I feel totally different with the door open than when it's closed. Maybe that also goes for being alone in the house too.

Anyway, here's an example of that excellence. Puggy stopped what she was doing to stare at the screen when I was watching this earlier. The best cat ever.

Posters of my work

2010-11-29T03:44:00.001-08:00

Alas! The day has come! The day you have all been waiting for! The day you have only dreamed of!

Ahem.

You can now buy prints of my work! A2 matt posters. All apart from 'White Gir'l which is A3. Here's the available posters and if you'd like one here's the link!

My Tiger My Timing win Becks newcomer

2010-11-21T07:45:00.000-08:00

Wonderful My Tiger My Timing have won the Becks newcomer award! They got to fly to Berlin and support Phoenix and the Ting Tings! Sooooo proud! Check out the vid, famous Harrison is in the glasses!

My advice for young/new/graduate artists

2010-11-11T03:13:00.001-08:00

I left art school in 2007 but my career and the interest in my work actually came about much before this. So I would consider myself to have been in the art world for about four years. In this time I have encountered every kind of shit you can imagine. From a dealer saying I could get out of paying expenses I owed him by taking off my pants and sending them to him, to a man trying to claim he was ‘so scared’ to deal with my work that he couldn't possibly pay me (whilst on the phone to BBC news). I have so many other stories too. I’m 25 and I feel like I’ve experienced it all. The funny thing is, it’s the people who seem the most legitimate who are the biggest arses.

However, instead of giving up (which I would never do) I can only use this experience for the future and make sure it never happens again. And of course share my advice with others. It’s not just visual artists – so many of my friends who are in the arts in some way (writers, comedians, actors) have had this shit and know people who have also had these problems. The arts seem to be the only profession where you work 24/7 and people think it’s okay to not pay you for that.

Here’s my top advice for young/new/graduate artists

1. Expect everyone you meet in the art world (especially people interested in exhibiting your work) to be either a) a bastard or b) sub-human. This way you will avoid feeling any kind of human emotion towards your dealer and if, for example, they make £100,000 selling your work and don’t give you any money, you won’t mind asking for some. Also, if they turn out to be nice then that’ll be a nice surprise.

2. ‘We deal in graduate art ‘ translates as ‘We deal with graduates because they’re desperate and it’s much easier to swindle them.’

3. Contracts. Get a good contract. If they present you with one, get it checked by a lawyer. Because it’s definitely going to be shit. Do not just ask your older brother to check it over just because he went to Oxford. Especially don’t then ignore him when he points out an important part of it because you don’t want to pay a lawyer to sort it out. Get a fucking lawyer. It is definitely worth the cash in the long run.

4. Don’t trust anyone who wears tweed.

5. On the contracts note, make sure you double check expenses. Some people will claim expenses from you. This could be anything or any amount, which means you can end up with absolutely NOTHING. Make sure this is not in your contract.

6. If they say ‘You’re an art star’, kick them in the balls and run away.

7. Don’t appear desperate. Because they can smell that a mile off and it’ll create more leeway for them to rip you off. As convincingly as possible, pretend you’ve had other offers but that you ‘can’t really say’ what they are yet. As if something amazing is about to happen but you’re not allowed to confirm it yet. Pulling the jinx card is good too ‘Oh I don’t want to say as I don’t want to jinx it, ahahahaaaaaa.’ (that’s a personal fave)

8. Don’t be fooled by a fancy website. Check out the credentials of their other artists and do research. Contact the other artists if need be, sometimes I get this and I really don’t mind offering my advice.

9. Beware of name droppers e.g. I was told ‘The director of your residency is affiliated with MoMA.’ And yes it was true. They knew someone who worked in the admin department. Which leads to….

10. Don’t trust anyone who bigs themselves up too much and take everything they say with a pinch of salt. It’s often all mouth and no trousers.

11. Pretend you know what you’re talking about. This is very important. If you don’t know what to say, just nod and say ‘Yeah I get you, I’ll have to have a think about that one and get back to you.’ (then go home and google)

12. Don’t take any shit. From. The. Start. I don’t mean be an annoying twat, but if something bothers you, then there’s a reason for that and speak up. You’re not imagining things. Do not be fobbed off. Remember, they are a) a bastard or b) sub-human. Or both!! I thought playing the ‘I’m just a stupid artist’ card would work. It doesn’t. They just think you’re a stupid artist.

13. If it sounds dodgy, it IS dodgy.

I hope this helps. I literally ignored all the advice I was given and now I lie awake at night fantasising about what I would do if I won a million pounds.

(please feel free to add your own advice in the comments!)

My recommendations

2010-10-28T16:01:00.000-07:00

I feel so much better about art today.

First I did a panel discussion at the Sphinx Conference and felt so inspired, then I saw 'The Clock' by Christian Marclay at White Cube followed by a Starbucks with my friend Miriam Elia. A great antidote to art depression!

'The Clock' is absolutely AMAZING it really is, the whole way through I was just thinking 'how did someone make this? How was this possible?' Superb. I was sitting there for an hour and I didn't even realise. I urge you to go and see it! I think it'll be one of those classical pieces in the future. Here's a blurb.....

'The Clock' is constructed out of moments in cinema when time is expressed or when a character interacts with a clock, watch or just a particular time of day. Marclay has excerpted thousands of these fragments and edited them so that they flow in real time. While 'The Clock' examines how time, plot and duration are depicted in cinema, the video is also a working timepiece that is synchronised to the local time zone. At any moment, the viewer can look at the work and use it to tell the time. Yet the audience watching 'The Clock' experiences a vast range of narratives, settings and moods within the space of a few minutes, making time unravel in countless directions at once. Even while 'The Clock' tells the time, it ruptures any sense of chronological coherence.'

My second recommendation is 'Living Dolls' by Natasha Walter. Everyone should read this book. I've read it once and now I'm reading it all over again. It really changed how I see the world. Get it now!

Art

2010-10-26T15:22:00.000-07:00

I feel so depressed about art at the moment.

Is anyone with me?

I went to Frieze and didn't feel a single thing. Nothing struck me. Maybe because I live and indulge in this world where information is so readily available at my fingertips, I can't actually be bothered to stare at a piece of art and try and figure out what it means. I just want to look at something and really like it. Is it wrong of me just to say

'I want to really like how it LOOKS'

I don't want to read into anything, I'm tired of reading into things, I just want something that I like to look at and I GET what it's trying to say just by looking at it. I don't want to read a supporting essay, this is all bollocks, am I the only person that...

My friend rang and interrupted this rant. Maybe that was a good thing.

Auction!

2010-10-08T03:25:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, the auction was bloody fantastic. Amazing postcards and the live auction itself was hilarious with Miriam Elia and Jessica Stevenson. Here's some images!

Kate Nash on her feminist Postcard - Auction Monday 4th Oct!

2010-10-02T15:20:00.000-07:00

Here's a great quote from Kate on her reasons for wanting to take part in the auction. Gotta love her.

'More people should be aware of the fact that feminism is a good thing,
it isn't discriminative or a bad word, if you believe in equality
between the sexes then you're a feminist, you are not a feminazi,
dyke, granny or bitch. My postcard is an album cover for my yet to be
released new record. The record I'll sell when I feel like selling
myself as a musician, smart, opinionated & creative person isn't
enough. That actually as a woman, I can utilise my body & dumb down to
help sell more records & become the dream that is 'non offensive
generic pop music' & essentially wank material. Sex sells, it's never
been more aparent than today. You can apply to the x factor, appear in
3 episodes, fail the audition & still make a short lived career for
yourself if you wear the right amount of clothing. The charts are made
up of the songs you hear on tv ads & friendly phone companies are
pioneers in the music industry. A confusing day & age for a little
girl in a big bad world. Tips for the future ladies: Art will always
be remembered & intelligence is empowerment.'

Auction is Monday guys! Get tickets here

'Feminism in London' Postcard Auction! NEWS and UPDATES

2010-09-30T03:12:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!

Preparations for the auction are going well. Great news is that Kate Nash is now on board and JEssica Stevenson is now co-auctioning with the fantastic Miriam Elia. More contributors are on board such as Gerald Laing, Piers Secunda and Rachel Brown.

Very exciting! Tickets are flying so book now to avoid disappointment! To book click here

'Feminism in London' Postcard Auction! Curated by Moi

2010-09-16T07:58:00.001-07:00

Come come come!

Contributors....

Riz Ahmed / Viv Albertine (the Slits) / Kat Banyard / Bidisha / Jo Brand / Zoe Buckman / Ty Bulmer (New Young Pony Club) / Chila Burman / Luke Drozd / Jenny Edbrooke / Miriam Elia / The Girls / Jo Harrison / Nathan James / Hayden Kays / Sarah Lederman / Louise-Lynn / Bob London / Sabrina Mahfouz / Sarah Maple / Marina and the Diamonds / Bethany Murray / Gemma Nelson / Julian Opie / Susie Orbach / Sean Parker / Stuart Semple / Jessica Stevenson / Josef Valentino / Julie Verhoeven / Jenny Wright/

The wonderful Miriam Elia is going to be the auctioneer, it'll be hilarious! You can buy tickets from here

We've gotta stop a Mosque at Ground Zero - lols!!!

2010-08-24T04:12:00.000-07:00

Oh dear

2010-08-23T09:14:00.000-07:00

No words

2010-08-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

Imagine 'Not Fair' by Lily Allen playing loudly...

Who wore it best?

2010-08-08T11:37:00.001-07:00

Here are three images from my new series 'Who wore it best?'

To see the rest and cast your votes click here

Anti Islamic links to my work - gah!

2010-08-06T04:18:00.000-07:00

In relation to the last blog about my work being misinterpreted (or the various interpretations) another example is my work being posted on this idiotic facebook group International burn a Koran Day. When my work first became known I had an email from an anti Islamic group really happy about my work and asking me to join them. I wrote back and said 'noooo you've TOTALLY got me wrong here'. AND my work is on the fucking BNP website which is the LAST thing I want. But when you put yourself out there you welcome all sorts of interpretations. I can moan all I like about not liking my work being linked to certain things, but there's shit all I can do about it. And if I start to worry about that now I would never make any work.

This piece....

2010-07-31T17:02:00.000-07:00

This piece of mine is very much misinterpreted I think. I often see people complain about it on my google alerts. I did this piece about 3 years ago, without knowing or acknowledging I was a feminist....or even knowing what feminism is. It may come across as quite harsh and man hating, but I never meant it to be that way, more light hearted, more lols! Come on, it's lols!! My urge is to say 'chill out it's just a joke!' But it's not a joke, I mean it's funny but I'm being serious too, but light hearted, I'm making a serious point, but not entirely serious because it's a joke so I'm making a point about something in a jokey way do ya get what I mean? Fuck it, it's just a joke! Read this and get what I mean

Get an 'Ich Liebe Dick' poster..

2010-07-30T05:12:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! The work has come back from Munich and we've got a few posters left so if you want one email asap to info@saloncontemporary.com and 'SARAH MAPLE POSTER' as the subject.

Here you go....

1.

'Ich Liebe Dick' exhibition poster (as in the video!) Check it out!

700 were printed, 50 signed and numbered. They were hung in the city of Munich. Most of them got destroyed and lost within the city which makes them quite rare.
A signed one just sold on e-bay for £84 pounds!
There's a few left over.
A1 size
poster paper
£30 + pp

2.

'Ich Liebe Dick (triptych)

limited edition, made especially for the show in Munich
triptych with each 40x50cm
printed on 190 gm2 paper
edition of 250
A few left!
signed and numbered
£250 +pp

Yorkie Bar Gah

2010-07-25T15:24:00.000-07:00

I was just googling Yorkie bars because I was wondering if they still had that slogan 'it's not for girls'. When doing this I came across a pink edition of the bar, specially for girls, which has on the cover 'Get your lips round this.' So help me God.

By the way is this just a British choc or do they do them abroad? Anyone?

GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

2010-07-16T07:47:00.000-07:00

GAH!!!!!!

Society burnt my finger.

2010-07-14T15:45:00.000-07:00

Here's a story for you.

On Saturday I was getting ready to meet Jamie. I decided to straighten some bits of my hair because those couple of stragglers on the left side of my head could make even the best man puke. In the process of doing this I slipped and caught my finger on the straighteners. Their heat is a whopping 220 degrees. It was only for a fraction of a second and I've done this before so I tried to forget about it. Jamie was at the door and so I hurried on out. I was having a lovely time until about 15 mintes later. The finger was throbbing, an agonising burning sensation consuming my whole finger, and the hot day was not helping.

I have a history with burns. When I was a kid I badly burnt my thumb on a car cigarette lighter. Five years ago I burnt my ankle on a motorbike exhaust. Last year I sunbathed in Greece without a high enough factor and the sun cooked me, I was red raw. My god the pain. And all my own bloody stupid fault.

My burnt self!

Anyway, the finger. The whole day the pain was there. I was at a National Trust place, everything should have been great, but no, the finger was there, annoying me, reminding me what I'd done. I suddenely felt angry, why did I straighten my hair anyway?? It was fine! I started delving deeper into the psychology - I thought it's probably this fear of being ugly and what that means for a woman...or maybe not ugly but less than perfect. Shock horror! I'm well aware it's all about money and mind control from the advertisers etc and as fucked up as I know that is, I still can't bring myself to leave the house without make up on. I was thinking about this and it dawned on me....

'SOCIETY BURNT MY FINGER!!!!'

How dare society burn my finger! What right did it have??!! I'm very angry! It deserves to compensate me greatly! (monetary donations welcome)

picture taken yesterday, my natural hair! See, if I'd straightened the top (my) left corner it would have made ALL the difference.

Although saying this, in the last year I have started to give less of a shit about how I look. A couple of years ago, the whole head would have been straightened, not just the unruly straggler! For some reason recently I don't get that same buzz I used to get when I go into a clothes shop. Not even in Topshop, the land of the free! I have no desire to look at clothes or buy anything. Nothing convinces me. I don't even attempt heels. A year ago I stopped plucking my eyebrows and the legs and arm pits got quite hairy because I just cannot be arsed. I've plucked, waxed, burnt myself out. I defeated the advertisers!!!!!!!!!

Okay I caved abut 2 weeks ago. In an effort to er make an effort (because obviously Jamie would leave me over a hairy armpit fo sho), I decided to buy an epilator. The thing about the epilator is it plucks the hairs right out, like waxing. I thought this was the perfect solution, I would have the best of the lazy and the effort world!! I could get rid of hair for up to four weeks so I wouldn't have to be arsed to think about it AND it would save me money in the long run on waxing strips. Wahey! So I spent £53 in order to be lazy. I basically bought them out, I'd paid them off. I paid to be lazy. I thought it was great, I thought I'd conquered again. But no Maple. They still got me, I realised either way, I'd STILL parted with my hard earned cash. Why oh why.

FYI - The epliator is agonising. At least with waxing its over in one go.

Going back to the burning, it made me think about all this pain we go through to look good or acceptable. All that money spent. The burning myself on holiday was such a regret. I wanted a tan so that I would look hot, brown and thinner! And the cost was a spolit trip and weeks of recovery. The advertisers, they don't care if you've got soft underarms or if you're a 'real' woman - they just want you to part with your cash! and as intelligent people who know this, we still do! Time and time again. And I'm not even going into cosmetic surgery.

Basically what I'm trying to say is, society burnt my finger and I'm not happy about it.

Kate Nash - sort of love her

2010-07-10T02:35:00.001-07:00

I had read a while ago about Kate Nash being very feminist in the way she goes about her business. Apparently after seeing that mainly men were employed on video and photo shoots etc etc, she decided to only employ women - to keep them in the business. So when I saw this 5 minute interview with her for BBC news I had to watch. I must say what she says is very refreshing. I love how she refuses to do the whole sexy shoot thing to keep up with her peers. I think she is a very positive role model for young girls, we should see and hear a lot more from her!
Here's the interview here

Jennifer Metcalfe Lipo. What?

2010-07-07T03:15:00.000-07:00

I am so outraged about the story on Jennifer Metcalfe (mercedes, Hollyoaks) undergoing liposuction that I had to blog it straight away. I have always envied her for having that perfect figure, especially that wonderful shapely backside. What more could a woman want from a figure? I don't understand! What is worse is that in the Mail's online vote the question wasn't 'Why on Earth has Jennifer Metcalfe had surgery?' no it was 'Was she too young at 26 to have surgery?' Has the world gone mad?? Here's the story and pictures

Peta. Again.

2010-07-03T16:09:00.000-07:00

This is 'lol'. The irony!!!

Sarah Maple - Ich liebe dick poster attack

2010-07-01T17:22:00.001-07:00

I apologise it looks at bit off centre!!!

Sarah Maple - Ich liebe dick exhibition

2010-07-01T17:22:00.000-07:00

American Apparel. lols.

2010-06-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

Ich Liebe Dick

2010-06-15T03:32:00.000-07:00

Calling German fans!

This is my first solo exhibition in Germany at the mbf-kunstprojekte gallery in Munich. Initiated by Friedrich Gräfling and curated by Samir Ceric.

There will be a collection of old and new work, an interactive installation in the space and I will be showing my 3 new movies for the first time.

The private view is 24th June at 6pm. I hope you can make it, I'm so excited!

www.sarahmaple.com
http://www.mbf-kunstprojekte.de/
http://kleinewundertuete.blogspot.com/

mbf-kunstprojekte
Maximiliansplatz 9 /UG
80333 München
Tel: +49-(0) 89-97 39 48-71
Fax: +49-(0) 89-97 39 48-72
email: info@mbf-kunstprojekte.de
www.mbf-kunstprojekte.de
Mi - Fr 14:00 - 19:00, Sa 11:00 - 16:00
u. n. Vereinbarung

American Apparel

2010-06-14T17:05:00.000-07:00

Found this on Gawker. MEGA LOL.

We've obtained two emails that AA management sent out to store managers and others earlier this year, describing ideal grooming standards for both men and women—complete with photos.

AA's grooming standards for females:

From: Katherine Johnson
Sent: Sun 3/28/2010 5:29 AM
To: [A long list of AA employees]
Subject: Grooming- Females
Hi everyone,
Please keep in mind that American Apparel is a retailer that celebrates natural beauty. We encourage employees to feel comfortable in their natural skin and natural state. This aesthetic is a part of the company image; as we do not photoshop our advertisements and our models appear in their natural state, it's important that this image is cohesive in the stores.
a) Makeup is to be kept to a minimal- please take this very seriously. Liquid eyeliner, pencil eyeliner and eyeshadow are advised against; mascara must look very natural (ie. should not be clumpy or a color that does not compliment your skin and haircolor). Blush must not be overdone- should not have glitter or sparkles. Liquid foundation is prohibited (undereye concealer is understandable if it looks natural- ie. not clumpy or caked on, must match your skin tone). Please do not use a shiny gloss on your lips; any lipcolor must be subtle.
b) Eyebrows must not be overplucked. Full eyebrows are very much encouraged. Please do not dye your eyebrows a different color.
c) We encourage long, healthy, natural hair, so please be advised of the following:
-Hair must be kept your natural color.
-Blow-drying hair excessively could cause heat damage, so this is advised against.
-"Bangs" or "fringe" are advised against. It is not part of the direction we're moving in.
d) Jewelry must not be distracting. Please do not wear accessories with another brand's logo on it- this includes watches. No gauges whatsoever. One earring per ear is encouraged. Earrings, necklaces, watches, bracelets, etc. must be simple and tasteful. Please E-mail me or work@americanapparel.net with a photo if you have any questions about a specific piece of jewelry you'd like to wear in the store.
Below are photo examples of staff from around the world as well as photos I've extracted from the website. Managers should circulate these photos and the suggestions I've made to their staff. Please let me know if you have any questions. You can call or E-mail me anytime.
Katherine

Girl crush.

2010-06-07T15:41:00.000-07:00

Sarah Haskins - I love her

2010-06-05T15:26:00.001-07:00

Let's start as we mean to go on...

2010-06-04T16:16:00.001-07:00

All fours.

2010-06-01T01:03:00.001-07:00

Come on! How many more successful women do we have to see on all fours? It seems to be a given. Hold on whilst I reach for my knee pads!

'it's still a man's world'

2010-05-27T14:00:00.000-07:00

The other day I was sitting in my Mum's kitchen innocently minding my own business, when she turns to me, with the air of a wise, Yoda-esque Buddhist Monk and says

'Sarah. You're pretty. You will go far in life.'

I was obviously as confused as a french chicken (they go 'bu-qwark'?).

'I'm sorry Mum?' I said, with the tone of a confused french chicken (bu-qwark).

'I wish I was pretty.'

'You ARE pretty Mum. Remember, you made me?' (harharrrrr) My gag went unnoticed, this often happens.

'You know, it's still a man's world.' she said with a sigh and that defeatist tone.

'Well, in many ways I suppose it is Mum, but we can change it, we ARE changing it.'

'It'll always be a man's world.' she said.

At this point I tried to explain to her that this was what feminism was about and tried to explain what an important part of my life this is. But because I completely take after her in pretty much every way, I could tell her eyes had glazed over and she was no longer listening. At least I pretend to listen, she indicted clearly she'd lost interest as she got really excited that Justin Bieber came on the TV and jumped up to record it whilst dancing about the kitchen. HONESTLY!

Anyway, I thought this was an interesting conversation she randomly brought up but then dismissed just as quickly, like this is just the way things are, it's a fact and there's nothing we can do about it.

My Mum is just the kind of person who would not call herself a feminist but is the perfect example of what a feminist looks like. As everyone knows I'm from a mixed background, so my Mum had to rebel against everyone, the whole family, in order to marry my English Father. It's obviously not as bad now, but back then it was the ultimate rebellion. I'm currently working with the Museum of London on a project around this subject and it's got me and my Mum talking a lot about this. She said to me yesterday that obviously she loved my father but one of the main reasons she rebelled was because she did not want an arranged marriage. She said how in those days women did not have a voice - she did not want to be a 'puppet' as she says. I'd like to think things have changed, but things have not progressed as well as they could have done and I'm not just talking about this instance alone - women's voices all over the world are still being controlled in different ways.

More and more I think about how women have come a long way and how amazing that is. But at the same time you can give women equal pay and the right to vote but ATTITUDES towards women need to change and fast. And that is a lot harder to do. We have certain laws that are meant to prevent sexism but music videos, magazines, advertising, TV etc show that women's sexual attractiveness, not what they have to say, is the most important and valuable thing about them. The world is a 'fleshy catastrophe!' But we can all do our bit to change that, I really believe we can. Just look at Iceland, they have just recently banned all strip clubs - and for feminist, not religious reasons. Kolbrún Halldórsdóttir who first introduced the ban said 'It is not acceptable that women or people in general are a product to be sold.' Great. Now we just need the rest of the world to follow....

Updates...and a bit of a winge.

2010-05-24T06:55:00.000-07:00

Although I did vow I would write one interesting blog at least once a week I have already failed. Failed for good reasons though! I was very busy last week preparing the group show I'm in at the new Aubin Gallery, 'This is England'. It is curated by the wonderful Stuart Semple, who also has an exhibition at the moment at Morton Metropolis. Check it out! Anyway, the private view for that is the 3rd June (first thursdays!), so do come along if you fancy it!

'The Garden Party' by 'The Girls'

I was also busy because I was in Bangor in Wales. I can't quite believe I'd never been there before! My fiance's ('fiance' - cringe. I wish there was a better word!) band My Tiger My Timing were playing at Radio One's Big Weekend festival. I kept getting told off for taking pictures (as apparently my camera counts as professional, annoying!) but it was worth it. Here's a vid, they are superb!! So proud.

Here's the winge. And rightly so. Check out the below picture I took at the festival. Here we have four posters, for Keisha, Biffy Clyro, Jason Derulo and Marina and the Diamonds. Notice the significant differences in the way the male and female acts are advertised. In the Biffy Clyro one the band members are barely viewable, in Jason Derulo's from what we can see he is fully clothed and looking away from us. In the female acts, Keisha's massive face looks us in the eyes and says 'come fuck me' and Marina's image is of her lying back, saying 'I'm being fucked, but I'm thinking of you' - the classic pose straight out of the national portrait gallery. A feminist's work is far from done! The other image is just my friend Dan showing his love of Keisha which I put in for funsies.

Women without men

2010-05-16T14:30:00.000-07:00

This film looks so good! And directed by the wonderful Shirin Neshat. I can only seem to see dates in USA. Frustrating! http://www.womenwithoutmenfilm.com/

Kim Kardashian - WOW

2010-05-12T08:40:00.000-07:00

I had absolutely no idea she'd had surgery (naive I know). Regardless of what I think of her, I always thought she was absolutely gorgeous. So I was genuinely shocked to see this image on jezebel, I mean, wow. She looks COMPLETELY different, unrecognisable! Is it actually her?? I'm not saying she looked bad before, far from it, but she looks like a completely different person! Insane.

BILLBORED - the projections...

2010-05-07T08:20:00.001-07:00

Here's my piece projected onto Tate Modern, City Hall and the Bank of England. To see more artists amazing work, including Stuart Semple and M.I.A, click here

BILLBORED

2010-05-04T00:54:00.000-07:00

I showed an altered version of my new piece 'recovering misogynist' for BILLBORED. The art works went up on billboards around London, loads of amazing artists took part. They're doing great stuff, check them out! http://billbored.org/manifesto.php

Famous women playing by the porn rules.

2010-05-02T03:03:00.000-07:00

Christina Aguliera's new video. woweee. Not only is it a massive Lady Gaga rip off but it's so desperate. I understood 'Dirrrty', I saw that it was a rebellion against the perfect all American girl bullshit, much like Britney's advance to the pornographic. But with Christina I've always thought after she did that video she kind of regretted it. It was a false freedom. She ended up being seen as quite slutty instead of sexy. She disappeared, did a re-branding and went sensible. When that song and video came out everyone was talking about it. I remember buying it. I was 18 and it was around the time I really started going out partying (those days seem to have ceased somewhat!!), we all used to cheer when that song came on and rush to the dance floor, grinding up against each other like in the video, wanting nothing more than to be the only girls the boys were looking at - just like Christina. Unfortunately we weren't because there were about 100 other girls on the dance floor desiring exactly the same prestigious honour.

The reason I mention this is because when I watched the video I felt a number of things. Firstly, I felt quite bored. I'm saturated with porn! My eyes drifted off to the cat for a bit, then I realised I hadn't been watching so I had to go back and watch it again. Secondly I just thought 'the kids!!'. I felt sad, I thought of the impression this video would have on youngens, I started wondering if the video was widely available, if MTV would censor it, does youtube know the age of it's watchers, I thought this video is saying 'sex is the only thing in life worth caring about and it's hugely glamourous and you never need to clean up afterwards', I thought 'is it a prerequisite that all female singers have to be near enough to pornstars at times?' - then I had a shower and decided I didn't want to have children.

It also made me think of something excellent I saw in the Guardian by Deborah Orr about an interview Nicole Kidman gave to GQ magazine....

'Nicole Kidman has told a no-doubt agog GQ interviewer that she has "explored strange fetish stuff". She's not naming names, but she has also seen fit to inform the world that she has burned some of the diaries she kept during her marriage to Tom Cruise. Never fear – there is still room for ongoing speculation, as Kidman assures readers her marriage to country star Keith Urban is "incredibly raw, incredibly dangerous . . . You're exposed. You could drown." Hilariously, the coverline on the magazine announces that Kidman is "still not playing by the rules". Talking dirty to GQ and providing a next-to-naked cover photo, just as your public profile takes a nose-dive? How could she possibly respect "the rules" more carefully?'

Now this is what I'm talking about. The sexy comeback. Are you a woman? Is your career going shite? Never fear! You can porn your way back into the limelight! I thought the same with Shakira's 'She Wolf'. It's so predictable. It's like this is all they have, this is their value. Porn is also used as an attempt mask a hugely lazy and shite song also. I felt a bit disappointed with Beyonce for 'Videophone', she didn't even NEED to do the porn thing. Okay there are some more interesting and younger people out there but fucking hell, she is Beyonce, she could have done that video in a black sack and people would have still bought it.

I'm still getting over my own misogyny. When 'Dirrty' came out I maintained I had a girl crush on her because she was so dirty and sexy. But I don't think I did at all. I think I was just so intimidated by the objectification and sexuality it was like a 'can't beat them join them' sitch. Like I claimed the objectification back, like gays taking back 'queer'. It's the same old idea of people thinking that women being equals to men is to BE LIKE a man. It's a classic error. And I know I was guilty of thinking this for some time.

I'm not entirely blaming these women for doing these things, I know they are victims of the machine. I imagine their PR working like crazy, all these people holding pay cheques and persuading them this is a great idea, maybe they're pressured against newer bright stars. But what I'm saying is, surely there's no need for the porn comeback if you're, quite simply, good?

New York, New York (again)

2010-05-01T03:38:00.000-07:00

So. We’re back. After everything that went wrong, volcanic ash, studio flooding etc, it felt like we weren’t gonna be home for weeks! I can’t quite believe we’re back….and can’t quite believe the past 3 months just happened.

We had a series of bizarre experiences in New York where we were just left going ‘did that actually just happen?’. It was quite frankly, amazing. I have learnt invaluable things from my time there, I'm not gonna bore and say them all, but there will definitely be a clearer difference in my new work because of it. Sometimes you have to go completely backwards to go forwards - even if you come full circle and realise you'd been right all along, it's def worth it - just to have that clarity and direction. All there’s left to say is a huge thank you to all the amazing people we met who made the trip great….and thank you New York!

To abstain or not to abstain....it's your choice!

2010-04-22T19:07:00.000-07:00

When I was a youngen I was strangely confident when it came to my sexuality. By that I mean I was not afraid AT ALL to say no. And I wasn’t afraid to tell people I was a virgin and intended to stay that way for a while longer. Everyone knew I was a virgin. I kind of said it out loud in RE class once. I found out on the day of our end of school prom that a bet had been going amongst a certain group of lads. Who could manage to ‘break in’ Sarah Maple.

Now, I’m not showing off here, I was certainly not in my prime looks wise (this was long before the invention of ghd’s added with a dose of me not really giving a crap),it was nothing to do with that, it was the challenge. I was ‘mysterious’. They knew there was a pretty slim chance they would never see me naked and it drove their adolescent ball bags crazy. Or they were a bunch of twats who thought they could spray some lynx and I’d be literally on my knees. You will be pleased to know I did not give in and give my ‘precious’ cherry to any of these boys. One of them had actually tried it on with me on a school trip. A school trip to a Nazi concentration camp. Not even on the coach. At the ACTUAL concentration camp. I mean, I know I’m picky but gee - a girls got to expect a bit more of a romantic setting than that for her first time, right? I mean it’s a known fact that even birds don’t even fly over that place! Literally nowhere is safe for women! I’m sorry to say that this is not a joke, it actually happened. And I’m glad he got his nose broken at the prom (it wasn’t me, but God was def on my side, that’s all I’m saying).

Obviously the choice not to get it on with a boy in the middle of a concentration camp is not an easy one to make. However I was still very aware at this age that it was totally up to me, my life, my choices. I’ve been doing a bit of reading on this subject recently and it makes me sad to read that so many young teens don’t think this way. Especially girls, it doesn’t actually OCCUR to them that they can say no. So many teens are doing it with anyone to ‘get it out the way’. I think I read it in ‘Living Doll’s’ by Natasha Walters, she tells a story about a girl who lost her virginity on the school field with a chap in her class, she said ‘I thought, the bell’s about to go, I’d better do it now.’

I don’t think it’s old fashioned of me to ask, where’s the romance? Remember the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie first starts dating Aidan? He doesn’t sleep with her for a few days because he wants to wait. She realises how jaded she’s become to sex and how she’s forgotten to just date.

I read on feministing about Lady Gaga’s campaign with MAC make up (Cyndi Lauper as well but she’s been air brushed so much that I didn’t even realise it was her, she is beyond recognisable!). The message is about sexual health and proceeds from the make up go towards the MAC AIDS fund. Great! Lady Gaga had also put out a message telling youngens that their sexual self does not define them.

'I remember the cool girls when I was growing up. Everyone started to have sex. But it's not really cool any more to have sex all the time. It's cooler to be strong and independent.'

And yes. That’s great. But I can’t help but feel really cynical. Because this message doesn’t really work alongside the sexually charged music and videos Gaga makes…these seem to rely on the same old ‘sex sells’ formula. I was just thinking to myself ‘Let’s give her a chance, she is just expressing herself in the way she sees best Sarah, just like you do in your art’. Yes she is, but it’s the same way a lot of female musicians on MTV seem to be expressing themselves and it’s become very limiting and very boring. Especially as she seems to be the kind of person who has a lot more of a say on her style than most pop stars. I do love the Gaga, don’t get me wrong, but when she said ‘the last thing people want to see is another girl laying naked on a beach’ or something when she was talking about her album covers, I thought ‘Yeah! Awesome!’ but then I thought, 'hooooold on!'

Feministing says….’She also reminded them that "you don't have to have sex to feel good about yourself," a valuable message in a time when women so often feel like their self-worth is determined by how many people want to have sex with them.’

But. Surely half of Lady Gaga’s appeal is her sexiness? That amazing body we all know inch by inch? Loads of people want to have sex with Lady Gaga and loads of young people want to be like Lady Gaga…..if you get what I'm saying.

Since being in the states these past few months I’ve heard a lot about this preaching of abstinence. People scoff at it and I don’t want to poo poo it because I think that should be an option if you want. But I just think it’s so ridiculous and quite comical that sex is literally everywhere you turn, completely glamorized, and the only option you have is to say no! (not that Gaga is saying THAT but it’s along a similar line). Sex education in conservative states in the USA seems to be to inform the boys and shame the girls. I went to a workshop last night with Shelby Knox called 'fucking while feminist'. One of the girls talked about her sex ed. She said the boys and girls were separated, the boys watched a sex education video and the girls were given two jugs of water to pass round. One was just plain jug of water, one was a jug of water with mashed up Oreos in it. All they were told is that if they had sex, they would be like the jug with the mashed up Oreos. Wow. And that's only a few years ago. Considering that the states is meant to be a liberal country and progressive, it’s amazing how backward they are on the subject that seems to dominate the culture the most.

When I was at school I was confident and strong in my decision to hold on. But my friends who were in relationships and made the decision to have sex, they were strong and confident too. As feministing also states…

‘Having sex and being "strong and independent." Since when are the two mutually exclusive? And why do I have a sneaking suspicion that no man is ever going to be told that he has to make this choice? For a man, having sex "all the time" doesn't affect anyone's perceptions of his strength or independence. But for a woman, the more sex she has, the weaker and less independent she apparently becomes. Lady Gaga does a lot of things that are inventive and original, and encouraging people (and women especially) to be strong and independent, is great. But this message - this dichotomy that pits strong and independent women against women who have a lot of sex - is a song we all need to stop singing.’

Indeed.

How did this blog become about Lady Gaga? Haha! Anyway what I’m trying to say is that there should be more emphasis on FREEDOM of CHOICE. The concept that you can say yes if you’re ready and no if you’re not. It’s that simple. And you should not feel bad either way. I don't think we'll ever be free from a time when the media glamorizes sex but if we had better sex ed in schools maybe we wouldn't be so fucked up about it? Maybe then we would have the confidence to make the decision that’s right for us at the right time.

We all say in the west we live in a free society but it feels like when it comes to this, we aren’t completely free to make our own informed sexual choices. That’s what I think.

(HAHA I just tried to think of images to accompany this piece and a Nazi concentration camp came in my head, I don’t think that’s a good idea)

David Mitchell is a legend

2010-04-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

Check out what David Mitchell wrote in the Guardian a few days ago in his piece 'Actually, you won't find female empowerment halfway up a pole'. I loved him anyway ('four naan Jeremy? FOUR?') but I love him even more now. It's so great men are saying these things. He's a feminist! Read his wonderful wonderfulness here

SOS

2010-04-20T13:34:00.001-07:00

Okay I know it's an act of God but I can't help but moan.

On Sunday night the whole studio flooded and the ceiling came in. Stuff destroyed. No water at all. We couldn't even take a leak. We did get to call 911 and the fire brigade came. SO that was pretty awesome.

Then we heard the news that our flight was cancelled. We booked a new flight, got excited, then this was cancelled.

The next earliest flight is 1st May.

Our visas run out on Sunday so hence we will then become illegal immigrants!

I miss my Jamie's (Harrison) birthday and I miss the picking up of my baby cat! WaH!

ANYWAY. At least we're safe which is all that matters. and the poor iceland and china aren't getting any sympathy. I'm caught up in this shit and even I'm annoyed at all the news reports about pissed off holidays makers! What about China? What about Iceland? It's so stupid. The news is quite frankly fictional and balls!

Facebook Group!

2010-04-16T17:36:00.000-07:00

WAH. I had to start a new facebook fan page because the other one was started by an old employee of Salon Gallery who could not remember the password AND that email address has been deleted. Haha! So basically there was to no way of getting in there!

Here is the link to the new group so please feel free to join if you wish! here you go!

My Misplaced Rebellion

2010-04-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went into Manhattan with no make up on. Yes, I’m a rebel, a renegade, a warrior in fact!

I was wearing a shirt from Tesco, leggings and a Primark cardigan. Good enough to eat (out - haha)! (Sorry I’m trying to reclaim objectification like the way gay people reclaimed the word ‘queer’, my efforts aren’t really working)

Anyway, I was walking about patting myself on the back, checking my reflection. I had this great feeling like I’d done something rebellious, really cool and ‘out there’. I was going to myself ‘wow aren’t I brave for going out with no make up on, I look hideous, everyone is probably judging me and thinking I’m the kind of person that doesn’t care, what a cool dude.’

Then I thought ‘what are you talking about you idiot, no one has even noticed you aren’t wearing make up and nobody gives a shit. AND the fact you’re not wearing make up really shouldn’t be that much of an issue anyway and this is the attitude that made you spent $28 on a tinted lip balm the other day. God the world has done a good job on you hasn’t it young lady….’
(this conversation with myself happened in the space of about 5 seconds)

And to make matters worse a man came up to me on Fifth Avenue and said ‘I just wanted to tell you you look really good.’ And walked off quickly. Like he was providing a service, he didn’t even try it on with me! Maybe it’s a scheme to help New Yorkers feel good about themselves. It did actually make me do a bit of a sort of girly Jane Austen-esque giggle to myself.

I realised my ‘rebellion’ was completely misplaced and I started thinking about how this might crop up in my art…
Firstly, I don’t think most people realise, as a Muslim, for me to show a part of my body was a massive deal. I wasn’t always as liberal as I am now. I remember wearing a short skirt for the first time when I was nineteen, I remember thinking ‘wow I can feel breeze on my legs!’ So it’s understandable for Muslim people to find it shocking and for me to feel risqué making it. But to most people they don't see the importance of this factor.

My ‘first work’ (the first piece where I thought I’d found my style) was the piece ‘Self portrait with Kate Moss’. I took this picture in January 2007. In this piece I am standing in front of a poster of Kate looking particularly thin. I am wearing my pants and my thighs and hips are on display. In this piece, part of what I was trying to say was ‘fuck you, look at my massive thighs, hips, hair and belly’ (unforts my breasts are not included under the description of ‘massive’ haha!). I’m big and I’m claiming my space, I don’t care.’ I’ve also done this in other pictures and video performances.

But then when this happened the other day I realised how misplaced this body ‘rebellion’ was. Because there’s nowt big about me at all in that pic. And I suppose this is why I’ve become such an active feminist, especially about issues towards advertising, music videos, tv etc. Because I know I started worrying about how I looked at a very young age. I remember in ‘Neighbours’ how the boys would chase these perfect girls who they called ‘babes’ and ‘chicks’. And I just knew that I should aspire to be one of these girls, no idea why, but I was somehow aware that I should want to be wanted by men, so I had to be like these ‘chicks’ and I knew when I was wanted by men, women would want to be like me. And that’s something desirable. It’s so fucked!!

I’ve always had this sort of body dysmorphia, I used to think I was so big (and I don’t just mean weight, I mean my height, my hair etc). I think most girls have this. I’ve always had this weird yo yo relationship with food and fitness and dieting. Until now. Over the past 6 months it has only just OCCURRED to me to be happy with the way I look, just accept my body shape, no – I mean LOVE my body shape. I used to totally hate myself when something didn’t look nice on me, but I’ve just realised, it aint me! It’s the clothes! I think ‘this outfit doesn’t suit MY specific shape’. This idea had never registered, I was always thinking ‘must look like this, must look like that, I’m a failure’. And you know what, the people who have the body you think you should have, they’re thinking exactly the same thing as you. That’s what the advertisers sell you, whatever you are, you should aspire to be something else, you should never be happy with who you are. ‘Make Yourself Amazing.’ Because you can never be naturally. That’s why those ads annoy me so much. And I suppose with the experiences I’ve had in NY, the people I’ve met and the stuff I’ve read, I’ve only just come to this realisation. Most people never have this awakening.

So basically what I’m trying to say is, be happy with how you look because it actually aint as bad as you think it is.

Peta annoy the shit out of me again....

2010-04-13T20:09:00.000-07:00

I will write this again for those who haven't already read the other post.

Peta's new slogan seems to be - 'We're against animal cruelty but the objectification of women - that's fine!!!!'

Spain tackles eating disorders....

2010-04-12T18:12:00.000-07:00

Very interesting information I discovered when reading 'Adbusters' Magazine.

Spain have now put in a law which bans, before 10pm, any tv advert promoting beauty products and treatments that suggest surgical enhancements or chemical ways to achieve the 'perfect' body.

This is fantastic news, obviously it's no miracle cure but it's a jolly good start. I heard France have done something similar but when I tried to google it I couldn't find anything. Anyone know?

If anyone could bloody stop those MYA adverts on my hotmail too that would be a bloody treat.

Here's bit more info....here

New Nike ad with Tiger Woods Dad??

2010-04-08T11:26:00.000-07:00

Okay. This advert is a shocking new low in advertising. I thought it was awful anyway but even more awful now that I realise his Dad is actually dead.
Who thought this was a good idea? When I see stuff as bad as this, I always imagine these executives sitting around a big table brainstorming and patting each other on the back over this monumentally bad idea....'I KNOW! Let's use Tiger Wood's dead Dad's voice over an image of Tiger Woods looking particularly pathetic!'
The first thing that screamed to me was 'RE-BRANDING!' Yet again, someone acts like a douche and they re-brand them as the victim. We've seen it time and time again. And if it works, it reeeeally works. Classic!

The Artist is Present

2010-04-07T18:30:00.000-07:00

Went to MOMA today and saw the Marina Abramovic show. Awesome, great, wonderful, inspiring. Loved it really. Highlights were the two naked people standing in a walkway - you had to slide past them to get through. My hand rubbed against a man's penis. Great! Also I was a geek and took part in her performance in the main room. I had almost a three hour wait but it was absolutely and totally worth it. Jo took some sneaky pics.....

Harriet Harman then - would you?

2010-04-05T16:07:00.000-07:00

My word. Read this extract from an article written by this absolute turd-muncher Rod Liddle. Why can't people have some bloody respect? Can you imagine people talking about male politicians this way? Check out the quote 'fit as a butchers dog'. Nice. And they say men and women are equals. HAHA!

'So — Harriet Harman, then. Would you? I mean after a few beers obviously, not while you were sober. The alcohol is sloshing around inside your brain, you’ve enjoyed a post-pub doner kebab together and maybe some grilled halloumi (a woman’s right to cheese) and she suggests, as you stand inside the frowsy minicab office: fancy going south, big boy? (I don’t know for sure that she’d use the term ‘big boy’; this is largely hypothetical stuff, you understand.) Anyway, the husband — Jack — is chilling in their second home in Suffolk, the kids are with their scary godmother Patricia Hewitt and the Peckham pad is free for the night. You imagine what might happen, what carnal delights are in store: Harriet fixing up some Moldovan Fairtrade coffee and then back in the living-room minxily slipping out of her stab-vest, the one she tends to wear while in her constituency, while sliding a sultry Joan Armatrading CD on the stereo. Would you? I think you wouldn’t. I think you have more self-respect, a greater sense of self-worth, no matter how much you’ve had to drink. I think you’d make your excuses and leave, just as the first bars of ‘Me Myself I’ strike up. I think you’d do the same with most of the babes who were once, or are now, on the government front bench.

That’s the problem with Caroline Flint’s statement that Labour’s most senior women were used by the Prime Minister as ‘window dressing’. I mean, would you dress your window with Jacqui Smith, or Ruth Kelly, or Harriet? If you had a window? You might dress the window with Caroline Flint, who, we should all agree, is as fit as a butcher’s dog. But the rest? I suppose Caroline meant ‘window dressing’ in a different way, i.e. as a highly visible sop to the remaining tranche of early 1970s feminists still active in the Labour party and in the campaigning quangos. In which case, she is probably right: what other reason could there be for the presence in high office of Jacqui and Harriet, other than some form of gender discrimination — i.e. for their looks — or for discrimination of the better, ‘positive’ kind, i.e. they are the only women around.'

How can more women be persuaded to become politicians if they know they will get treated this way? It makes me sick!!

Read the whole shit here.

The Whitney Biennial

2010-04-02T19:06:00.000-07:00

Myself and the quotable Jo (neon hair) went to the Whitney Biennial yesterday. I'm most surprised to hear people have called it rubbish because we loved it so much. My three faves were...

Nina Berman's 'Marine Wedding'. The work has totally stuck with me, it keeps coming into my head and making me think. To me that means a truly amazing piece of art. This picture below in particular...if anyone asks what is art, then to me this is it.

The 2006 photographs on view in 2010 document the marriage of former Marine sergeant Ty Ziegel, then twenty-four, to his high school sweetheart, Renee Kline, twenty-one. After being severely disfigured in a suicide bomber’s attack while stationed in Iraq, Ty underwent fifty reconstructive operations. A plastic dome, with holes where his ears and nose used to be, replaced his shattered skull. Without any staging or direction, Berman took spontaneous photographs of Ty and Renee in the weeks leading up to their wedding day and accompanied them when they had their wedding portrait taken. Her picture of them at the portrait studio conveys an air of alienation between the couple, who separated a few months after their wedding. Berman photographed Ty again in 2008 and describes the later images as suggestive of “a comfortable acceptance with military culture despite the cost.”

ninaberman.com

My second favourite was a fantastic female performance artist called Kate Gilmore. It was funny, interesting, political, everything. The most like the kind of thing I would like to be doing more of. Truly inspirational!

Kate Gilmore’s work explores themes of displacement, struggle, and female identity. She is the sole protagonist in her performative videos, in which she attempts to conquer self-constructed obstacles.

For this work, Gilmore’s obstacle is a tall column made of sheetrock which she tries to climb by kicking and punching holes into its walls. As in most of her work, Gilmore’s attire is at odds with the brute physical labor she performs. She works through the limitations imposed by her feminine clothing—high-heels and a polka-dot dress—with sheer muscle power and desperate determination. Shot in one take, the outcome of her endeavor is unknown before the performance begins. Gilmore’s tragicomic displays posit physical situations as metaphors for conflicts and social obstacles women face today.

kategilmore.com

My third fave was Maureen Gallace. This is one of those things where I don't know why I love something, I just do. Maybe being a painter I can appreciate it...or maybe just as a person. Just wonderful, beautiful paintings, I want one!

Maureen Gallace finds inspiration in the modest edifices and rural environs of her native New England. She paints intimate landscapes featuring serene, unpeopled houses. Deceptively effortless in their appearance, Gallace’s paintings take shape through careful observation and decisive omission. In this series of works, boxlike cottages are surrounded by bright hues of thriving summer greenery and a luminous pale sky. Visible brushstrokes, applied in wet-on-wet layers of oil paint, describe areas of color that appear infused with light. In some of her paintings, descriptive architectural details such as windows and doors are absent, leaving the viewer free to attach his or her own associations to the structure.

And lastly this piece by Aurel Schmidt gets a mention, because it was great. And because it's the first penis I've ever seen in art that I've really wanted to reach out and touch......

Make Yourself Amazing

2010-03-30T11:07:00.000-07:00

Anyone who is female and living in the UK will be familiar with this face.....

Not because of any particularly memorable TV appearance, or even from the Sun or Nuts magazine. But because of the ad-raping inflicted upon us via our facebook and mainly hotmail.

There was a time when I saw her face and body about 30 times a day. I'd check my hotmail, there she was, I'd send an email, face again, go back into my inbox, there she appears, onto my facebook, her face stares back at me again, taunting me, with 'MYA' printed across it.

This literally went on for weeks until one day I went 'FINE! WHO ARE YOU!!!' And clicked on the advert.

I found out that 'MYA' stands for 'Make Yourself Amazing'. A cosmetic surgery company in the UK which suggests that you aren't amazing at the moment, but if you have enough surgery you might be.

I don't want to completely poop on the idea of surgery because I can understand it (as a woman I biologically have superior skills in empathy don't you know!). I had a good look at the site and watched some of the testimonials from 'celebs' (ALL reality TV 'stars') and again and again their reasons are 'I did it for myself'. Yes, I don't doubt that for a moment, but it's the REASONS you did it for yourself that gets to me. If you get me.

I personally believe women's aspirations to look like this ideal is more about fitting in (this may be stating the obvious but stick with me here!). We all know the only women who are represented in advertising and media are the stunning, thin and young ones. I think the reason women want to aspire to be like this is much more about the feeling of belonging then we think. And if we're constantly bombarded with beautiful images of women, we want to fit into this group, this group that we believe to be the majority. When I was a kid I got boobs before everyone else. I had massive ones whilst everyone else was flat as pancakes. This ordeal tortured me. I remember wishing my boobs would go away and come back when I was 18. I even taped them down. And it wasn't a problem with the tits themselves, it was the idea of being different - I wanted to look like my friends and other girls my age. Now that we're all in our twenties, everyone has obviously got tits and in some strange twist of fate, mine are distinctly smaller than most of my friends. Sometimes I look at their boobs and wonder what it's like to have 'proper' ones, I wonder what it's like to NEED a bra. I sit up at night wondering if Harrison is cutting out pictures of my head and sticking them onto Pamela Anderson's torso.

Okay maybe not the last one. Ahem!!

I think my thoughts as a young lady were justified to some extent. But for women to want to aspire to be like this particular group of perfect women who exist on TV adverts is totally whack. Because this perfect ideal does not exist - well it's made to exist by stylists, make up, hair pieces, photoshop, surgery, the list goes on. That's why I so loved the mermaid and whale story I posted a few days ago. The very idea we're meant to aspire to something that isn't real fascinates me....and it'll continue to trick women (actually not just women) that we CAN be perfect, we CAN be better than the human norm if we just TRY hard enough.

Now I am 25 and it has only just occured to me that I should be happy with the way I look. Maybe even like it!

If people want surgery, okay. But don't insinuate I am less than amazing if I choose not to. Thank you.

Fur is BAD but objectification...that's FINE!

2010-03-28T17:02:00.000-07:00

The campaign by Peta (http://www.peta.org/) is all well and good but it totally makes me cringe. I keep seeing it recently and each time it makes me more annoyed.

It's as if they're saying (and I quote Jo on this) 'We're against using animals for their fur but the objectification of women - that's fine!!!!'

Do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?

2010-03-26T22:30:00.000-07:00

I found this on any-body.org

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:

THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who's skin is all scaly and smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me... I want to be a whale.

P..S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my grandkids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a latte with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good gosh, look how smart I am"!

What I like most about this story and the reason I posted it is the fact that mermaids do not exist...the idea we're meant to desire to be something completely impossible... but it's achievable if you just TRY hard enough and buy more things....

Scarlett Johansson and Terry Richardson

2010-03-24T18:04:00.000-07:00

Good day!

Today I went to see View From a Bridge with Scarlett Johansson at the Cort theatre. It was most excellent, she was superb in it. The only thing about it was that I couldn't block out the noise from the street of sirens and reversing vans, it was a bit off putting. Also there was a group of students being loud and laughing at really inappropriate times, I understand not. Other than that it was so great, I can't fault it at all.

In other news - Terry Richardson got revenge on me for the last post I wrote by appearing in my dream and violating me. It was so strange, he convinced me to have sex with him by telling me he loved me, then some very graphic scenes took place which left me unfulfilled (this is a recurring dream for me anyway!) and THEN he got really angry at me and stole my Marc Jacobs bag from my locker. Then I thought that he MUST have an STD and that I'd have to get checked out before I got back to the UK incase Harrison caught it off me and put two and two together and I'd have to explain I'd had sex with Terry Richardson and it didn't mean anything and I'd have to convince him I was still marriage material! Ahem. It was most strange. But the dream was so vivid that I remember the guilt I felt about Harrison. And when I see his face the dream comes flooding back and I feel really bad. Oh the tricks of the mind!!

Anyway must go and do some work now. My friends came to visit last week and they've just gone home. I miss them so much!!!!